Six Months Later

Six Months Later........Waking you up for school was not such a chore because you smiled at me first thing. You are a morning person, unlike the rest of your new family.

Six Months Later.......We sit in the rocking chair, as has become our nightly ritual, and my head explodes with pride as you count to five, name colors and say and do some letters in sign language. All with a language barrier and down syndrome. Let us not forget the full sentences you are speaking, and the following directions and understanding you could not do six months ago. This is not because your family is skilled at teaching. It is because you are so bright.

Six Months Later......My prayer life has changed as new concerns are on my horizon. What if people apply ugly stigma to you. What if people don't give you the chance to learn because they don't think you can. What if friends tease and teachers don't try, and I am left as the only advocate fighting a black dark world for you by myself. But, then we meet the beautiful young lady with down syndrome on her first day on the job. And she looked at you and said with enthusiasm, pride, and shared comradery

"Look, I have down syndrome just like you! We are a like and that's 

   awesome." 

And I realize, though I don't know what her life looked like up to that point, she was accepted, filled with pride and capable. And I know you will be too. We were not alone.

Six Months Later........My heart fills up and spills over as I see your brother and sister start to become the things we prayed for. Even though it's been hard. Even though everyone has had to adjust to many changes. They light up at the thought of playing with you. They hug you and comfort you when you cry. They stick up for you and protect you at the playground. They love you the way you are and are already advocates for you without even realizing it. I see it with the things they say; the pride that wells up in them when they tell others about their new sister. I see it with the grace they extend you when you fall short sometimes (as we all do sugar).

Six Months Later........I cried and cried as you still struggled with wounds and heartache from an institutionalized life for six years. The emotional scars are real and it has impacted everyone around you. We still pray for healing, and we still cling to Jesus when it's hard. Now that I've said that....not such a bad thing is it?

Six Months Later.....I struggle to find the words as I compose a letter to your birth mother. I didn't want to write her. I was terrified. But Jesus nudged (hard) and said, "I love her too as much as I love her child". And then suddenly I wanted to love on her too. She'll likely never meet me. But I wanted her to have a little peace knowing you are loved, happy, and growing. And to thank her, for giving you life and letting us love you when she knew her own love would not be enough. I am scared of the hard questions I may have to answer for you some day, but I know Jesus will fill the void and give us the words. Just like he did in the letter.

Six Months Later.......I marvel at your personality and how lucky we are to have someone like you in our family. Every time you laugh with your head thrown back and your whole body engaged my joy overflows.  Every time you walk into a room with a little swagger that screams confidence I smile at you. Every time your ornery streak puts a twinkle in your eye and shows me a little of your ingenuity, my exasperation turns to delight (eventually :-)). Like the time you learned to ride a bike so you could get away with speed from having to sit in time out when you were in trouble. You love, are a big personality wrapped up in the tiniest of packages and I get a front row seat to it. It's exhausting and its amazing.

Six Months Later.......You call me Mom and you call your Dad, Daddy with a level of familiarity that wasn't there before. With a devotion and a joy at the ownership that it means. You know we are there, and we are yours, and we aren't going anywhere. You love us, and we love you. I can think of no better reason to respond to the call of adoption than love. You taught us the meaning of the gospel in the deepest way and we are beyond blessed.

Six Months later our family is forever changed. It is imperfect and beautiful. It is hard and lovely. It is Family. All because you became a part of our lives we are far richer. I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank you Little Love. I am so looking forward to watching you grow up (just do it slowly for Mom please, k?)