One question that has been endlessly mulled over by me, consciously or sub consciously, over my thirty years (it's OK, you can remind me I'm a baby who doesn't know much yet :-)) has been what does real genuineness look like? Everyone sees it as a desirable trait, believes it signifies integrity, and thinks he or she has it. The problem is we all have a different definition of what genuine means. Sure, we all say something along the lines of being your "true self", but what does that even mean? Who I am is always changing, as I grow and learn and experience life. Even my set personality traits have their time and place. I used to think being loud and silly was the very definition of who I was. So I was loud and silly all the time. Was I not being genuine if I took time to be quiet, to reflect, to simply fade into my thoughts and prayers? I can look back and say thankfully that there is more depth to me than noise.
I used to have a friend that thought being genuine meant always telling the truth, no matter what. It sounds honorable, but so often it was used to justify horrible unkindness, and cruel words. I see this excuse often for lashing out at others when really we are hurting on the inside. In this way it seems the opposite of genuine; wounding others to hide oneself.
What about the parts of myself that I share only with my husband? I am not talking about my body here, but the dreams, ideas, hurts, and soul searching questions that only we share on a long walk, over a cup of coffee, or in the peace of our bedroom. Am I not being genuine if all of that is not readily available for every passer-byer to see?
Sometimes it appears to be defined as going along with sin, no matter how uncomfortable we are, because after all, we aren't perfect either. If we are being honest about our own failures (which is being genuine) then we can't make someone uncomfortable about theirs, even by the simple act of not participating. It sounds silly, but how many times have I nodded and listened to someone cruelly gossiping about someone else, because I was too afraid to say I'm not comfortable with that? Heck, how many times have I taken it a step farther and offered my two-cents worth? Is this being genuine? Obviously not.
What about taking the time to appreciate the differences between someone else and myself? Am I not being genuine if I try a new meal or hobby that I wouldn't normally, in order to spend time with someone I love?
This all sounds so silly in retrospect, but truly I think this is something we all struggle to really figure out.
How Do I be true to myself, but allow room for growth, all while allowing others to be themselves?
We've been at our new church now since September. Making new connections is difficult for me. Not because of them........they are receptive, kind, and in my book genuine. I just struggle with relationships, and beginning again the process of making friendships that we spent ten years forming at our old church. If there is one thing I've learned over the last few years, as I have visited many churches, and two other continents, is that there are brothers and sisters in Christ everywhere. Truly our family is very big. And just the knowledge that the Spirit of The Living God lives in each of us, opens a door to friendship that is beautiful. So as we are getting ready to spend a whole weekend with these new friends in order to connect and get to know them, I am sitting in my favorite corner at home, reflecting on who I think I am and how do I share that with them.
I must be over thinking this, as I often do. Because when I asked God about it, He sent me here.
"He has shown you, oh mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord Require of you but to act Justly and to love Mercy and to walk Humbly with your God." Micah 6:8
Because I am absolutely so sick of Winter.....enjoy some pictures of fresh flowers and lets pretend its spring!
When the very definition of my being is loving Jesus, the rest seems to fall into place. It's not about presenting the best me, or "real" me, but finding myself IN Him.
When I walk Humbly with God, I am real about who I am.
When I love His Justice, I operate with truth.
When I love Mercy because of the Mercy He has shown us, I won't trample on others with myself.
I am my truest self in Jesus. That is what I show others. What He has done for me. What He is working on in me. What He offers freely to all. And all the uniqueness of who I am makes perfect sense in the context of His design.
Dear Lord, Help me to be genuine in all I say and do. Help me to be real, humble, just, and merciful to all I encounter. Convict me when my focus is on me, instead of on You. You designed us to connect Father, and we can't do that with barriers, and false versions of ourselves. Help me to know who I am in You, so I can be genuine to others. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................and I'll leave out the rest of a rambling prayer on my blog.
Have a beautiful week friends!
Carrie
