Being Genuine

Ready for some more Transparency? Here are some musings straight from my prayer journal to you. I hope it gets you thinking today.

One question that has been endlessly mulled over by me, consciously or sub consciously, over my thirty years (it's OK, you can remind me I'm a baby who doesn't know much yet :-)) has been what does real genuineness look like? Everyone sees it as a desirable trait, believes it signifies integrity, and thinks he or she has it. The problem is we all have a different definition of what genuine means. Sure, we all say something along the lines of being your "true self", but what does that even mean? Who I am is always changing, as I grow and learn and experience life. Even my set personality traits have their time and place. I used to think being loud and silly was the very definition of who I was. So I was loud and silly all the time. Was I not being genuine if I took time to be quiet, to reflect, to simply fade into my thoughts and prayers? I can look back and say thankfully that there is more depth to me than noise.

I used to have a friend that thought being genuine meant always telling the truth, no matter what. It sounds honorable, but so often it was used to justify horrible unkindness, and cruel words. I see this excuse often for lashing out at others when really we are hurting on the inside. In this way it seems the opposite of genuine; wounding others to hide oneself.

What about the parts of myself that I share only with my husband? I am not talking about my body here, but the dreams, ideas, hurts, and soul searching questions that only we share on a long walk, over a cup of coffee, or in the peace of our bedroom. Am I not being genuine if all of that is not readily available for every passer-byer to see?

Sometimes it appears to be defined as going along with sin, no matter how uncomfortable we are, because after all, we aren't perfect either. If we are being honest about our own failures (which is being genuine) then we can't make someone uncomfortable  about theirs, even by the simple act of not participating. It sounds silly, but how many times have I nodded and listened to someone cruelly gossiping about someone else, because I was too afraid to say I'm not comfortable with that? Heck, how many times have I taken it a step farther and offered my two-cents worth? Is this being genuine? Obviously not.

What about taking the time to appreciate the differences between someone else and myself? Am I not being genuine if I try a new meal or hobby that I wouldn't normally, in order to spend time with someone I love?

This all sounds so silly in retrospect, but truly I think this is something we all struggle to really figure out.

How Do I be true to myself, but allow room for growth, all while allowing others to be themselves?

We've been at our new church now since September. Making new connections is difficult for me. Not because of them........they are receptive, kind, and in my book genuine. I just struggle with relationships, and beginning again the process of making friendships that we spent ten years forming at our old church. If there is one thing I've learned over the last few years, as I have visited many churches, and two other continents, is that there are brothers and sisters in Christ everywhere. Truly our family is very big. And just the knowledge that the Spirit of The Living God lives in each of us, opens a door to friendship that is beautiful. So as we are getting ready to spend a whole weekend with these new friends in order to connect and get to know them, I am sitting in my favorite corner at home, reflecting on who I think I am and how do I share that with them. 

I must be over thinking this, as I often do. Because when I asked God about it, He sent me here.

"He has shown you, oh mortal, what is good. And what does the Lord Require of you but to act Justly and to love Mercy and to walk Humbly with your God." Micah 6:8

Because I am absolutely so sick of Winter.....enjoy some pictures of fresh flowers and lets pretend its spring!

When I think of the people in my life who I would truly describe as genuine, they all seem to have one thing in common. They love what the Lord loves, and walk humbly with Him to figure out what that is. They are their truest selves when they are walking with Jesus (after all, who else would know us best but our creator?) and they value truth, while extending mercy with all they say and do. These are the people I want to be around. This is the person I want to be. 

When the very definition of my being is loving Jesus, the rest seems to fall into place. It's not about presenting the best me, or  "real" me, but finding myself IN Him. 

When I walk Humbly with God, I am real about who I am.
When I love His Justice, I operate with truth.
When I love Mercy because of the Mercy He has shown us, I won't trample on others with myself.

I am my truest self in Jesus. That is what I show others. What He has done for me. What He is working on in me. What He offers freely to all. And all the uniqueness of who I am makes perfect sense in the context of His design. 

Dear Lord, Help me to be genuine in all I say and do. Help me to be real, humble, just, and merciful to all I encounter. Convict me when my focus is on me, instead of on You. You designed us to connect Father, and we can't do that with barriers, and false versions of ourselves. Help me to know who I am in You, so I can be genuine to others. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................and I'll leave out the rest of a rambling prayer on my blog. 


Have a beautiful week friends!

Carrie

The Blog

Good Morning! I hope this blog finds you with a few restful moments and some coffee in hand. That's where it is finding me and that is a blessing. Our summer has been a summer of difficult transitions, lots of appointments and responsibilities and LOTS of noise. With the house empty because everyone is at school and the quiet that has ensued....I am not exactly crying. Though I did cry when my youngest informed me on the second day of kindergarten that he could handle walking himself to class.

I mentioned on my other blog that I would be transitioning to a new one. Our adoption journey is over and now we have begun the journey of investing in our new family and the day to day with our precious one. That journey was filled with more faith building moments than I can count and we are humbled and amazed by the God that brought us to our precious girl. If you would like to read about it feel free to follow the previous link, or if you have any questions about adoption, leave a comment and we will connect!

I am sitting here struggling with why I am on the computer doing this right now. Cute pictures of my kids to share with my family is a mostly acceptable form of blogging. An adoption journey, though widely varied and passionate opinions of the subject abound (as they do with every single topic regarding parenting and children), is still a fairly acceptable form of blogging. But what if this blog reads like my prayer journals? What if I am transparent, open and honest, about the things that matter most to me?

If you have ever read the comment section of any blog like that, you will see why I am nervous. The internet can be filled with as much hate as we are hearing about on the news right now. The power of words can destroy. For a verbal and impulsive person I have learned the truth of James the hard way many times.

 "But no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God."

Despite this, I still feel this tug that I should be writing. God steered me a different direction from the journalism career I originally desired. However, I don't think this piece of my life that still writes endlessly in blank page after blank page was an accident. Perhaps God will use it to encourage someone. Perhaps He may motivate another to seek justice for someone without a voice, or be moved to mercy when they have been hurt. Or maybe God will simply use it to change me. Only Eternity will know. I have no intentions of being the next Ann Voskamp or Jen Hatmaker (two wildly different writing styles that both encourage and convict) but I do want to be obedient to what God has asked of me. So insecurities and fears included, here we go.

Speaking of insecurities, I would like to start out this blog as humble and transparent (and moderately silly) as I can be. I've been stewing on this all morning, so I will be presenting to you soon my list of 5 insecurities I have about myself and what God has taught or is still teaching me through them. I hope you can relate to a few. Keep an eye out for them!

For now I leave you with 1 Peter 1:23-25

"For you have been born again, but not to a life that will quickly end. Your new life will last forever because it comes from the eternal, living word of God. As the Scriptures say, 

People are like grass;

their beauty is like a flower in the field.

The grass withers and the flower fades.

But the word of the Lord remains forever.

And that word is the Good News that was preached to you."

This time is so short. Even if all we hope for comes true, and we go peacefully in our favorite chair, old and gray, enjoying the sunshine.....it's still so brief, like a vapor. What makes this time matter? What gives it value? 

May we fix our eyes on eternity and the one who resides over it. May we find value in Who, not what, and live our brief lives accordingly. 

Sincerely,

Carrie